The Bluey episode that made me cry

"The Baby Race" is the Bluey Episode that will absolutely make all moms cry... well, at least, it made me cry, hah.
I can remember my own experience as a first time mom when my daughter began to reach the age of milestone markers- rolling, sitting up, eating solids, crawling, walking, talking. Even though I had long worked with new families and years of additional educational training in child development before starting a family of my own, I still felt like I had no idea what I was doing.
​
I think that’s where it started- having no lived experience of raising an infant. I started to look through books, countless websites/blogs, social media accounts, Facebook mom support groups, etc. Just when I would read something that quelled by anxiety/fear that I wasn’t doing enough to support my child, I would head to the yoga mom group, baby music class or open Facebook to see that my friend’s baby the same age had already met certain milestones that mine had not.

I never wanted to compare my baby to someone else’s and I don’t think that was my intention at all when I began the baby race. I think, deep down, I was struggling with a deep insecurity that I wasn’t a good enough mom. I was struggling with the thoughts that I wasn’t doing enough for my children, not reading the right books, not doing the right activities or not being able to meet my baby’s needs in the way they need. At the core of it all- I felt as though I was failing at being a mom and doing everything wrong. I believed that I was failing at the one thing I thought I had always wanted to do my entire life. I felt a lot like Bluey’s mom, Chilli.

If I could go back to that time, now, as a mom of a 4 year old and almost 2 year old, I would want to recreate that moment when Coco’s mom came over to see Bluey’s mom, Chilli, and say something similar to myself. What I needed to hear in those moments was: “You’re doing great. You are a good mom. You are enough”. What I also needed in those moments was a hug and to feel seen and heard. What I needed was for someone to know that it's okay to not be "perfect". That what matters more is that as a parent, I acknowledge my shortcomings and make an attempt to apologize and repair with my child. That my child needs an authentic, emotionally available parent more than a perfect parent.

I might have put a whole lot less pressure on myself and on my baby if I had someone cheering me on in those ways but also, I don't know if I would have wanted to hear it until I was ready to hear it. I might have been more present and find more playfulness in the unique ways in which my baby was meeting milestones and exploring life but I don't know for certain. I also might have felt a lot less guilty and judgmental towards myself about feeling competitive with my peers but hindsight is always 20/20. I think more realistically, I might have had a little more healthy distance from this part of me, acknowledging that this part of me is probably feeling insecure about being a new mom and that it's pretty common for new moms to feel this way. Sometimes it can help to know we aren't alone in feeling the things we don't want to feel and are feeling.

While there might have been a smidge of grief over what I missed out on by getting caught up in the baby race game, I actually found myself mostly wanting to work to repair our relationship. While they probably didn't understand me, I let them both know that "mommy wants to apologize for missing times when you've tried to get my attention and I wasn't present. I'm going to work harder to be more present when we are together. I'm not perfect so I may still mess up along the way but I hope you'll feel safe to let me know if it makes you feel upset. I want to hear about it."

Did you watch the episode? What did you get out of it? Let me know!

---